Original E-mail from Roger Pope (pseudonym)
Just one question. I have 3 kids all under 4. I lost my job, but my wife still works. Our bills are pilling daily, utilities get shut off on a regular basis. I have been reading, studying self help and motivational gurus for some time, and trying to create a good life - but after many months I am still no better off than before - in some ways even worse.
The things they say make sense - but nothing seems to change. I feel frozen in this dismal way of living. I am signed up for daily newsletters from all the greats but no matter how much goes into my head - nothing changes. I have no college degree and my 'passions' are not easily converted into finances. Not many people want to take karate lessons. plus I live in a small community.
I love to write and have great ideas for books but....that will not pay our bills now...and I currently lack the confidence to see that anything I do will also result in failure. We get food stamp assistance but I hate to live like this. The experts offer advice for us little folks to follow... but on paper it looks and sounds great but in real life...I stare at the empty cupboards and feel like crying because I do not know how to make things better...as my marriage gets worse and worse...
my question that the experts do not answer is.. if you are at the bottom or near bottom... with no resources and a sense of desparation as bill collectors ring the phone from sun-up to after dark...what then? I am trying to stay positive even though I just returned from the water department to get my water back on.
I am 50 pounds overweight and I hate the thought of being a self help junkie that does nothing with his life but read about how good it could be if only I would do...........
Sincerely
Roger
Subsequent e-mail:
Jeanne,
Yes you have my permission to post.
I have done and am doing, affirmations, goal setting, meditation, and many other things. In a way it is like praying for a dream that never materializes or that moment during a rushed lunch break you get down the road from McDonalds reach into your bag and realize they did not give you the Big Mac you paid for, yearned for and expected, and you are really really hungry.
I worked as a paramedic for 25 years and have seen it all and then some, I know that death does not discriminate but success appears to. When you travel into an area of fine homes and fancy cars, you know that they did not study success like I have but here they are and here I am, with tons of desire and knowledge and talent but driving a beat up 95 Chevy, looking in from the outside. What did they know and do that I did not. Where did I miss the boat. Why did they not have to read and study success gurus. How are they better off than me when I know that my desire is stronger and my intentions and heart are more sincere.
My interest include Karate, writing, publishing, success-improvement-psychology study and web businesses. I have a black belt ranking and teach but it is not a highly sought after thing and getting and keeping students is very difficult and not to be depended on financially, it seems to be suited as a hobby rather than a career.
I have a talent for writing, I became very interested in the subject of domestic abuse and have written about 75 pages toward my goal of writing a book about it. There are many books already on the subject but I feel my experiences and research can give a fresh perspective. I have also written numerous poems but have nothing published.
My other interest include topics that will help myself and others to improve and understand life, success and so forth, this is probably where my intense interest in success self help comes from. This intuitive knowing that success is possible for anyone and trying to find it for myself and also helping my family and others.
I have a strong desire to know all about web marketing and reach out to others on a worldwide basis- not just this little area in remote SE Ohio. I have researched and studied web business techniques a lot. Even how to develop web pages yet I have no web site.
I would love to have a web business , but I guess that is where my self doubt comes into play, I need some reassurance that I won't be wasting my time and very limited money on something that may not be profitable. Jim Rohn and Brian Tracy may be able to have online success but I am certainly not in their league or stature.
I wrote out my goals of what my life will be like. The hard part is to stay focused and find a way to bring it into reality.
I know its not easy - there is probably not a book or tape I haven't seen. I know a lot and can give great 'advice', but my own life is a different matter. What interested me about your site was that you are an average person not a multi-millionaire (yet). I see some things we have in common and admire your determination. I want to stay grounded but I also want to be successful, in my personal life, and financial life. I know I can do it I just do not know how yet. I have a sense of urgency and drive but no money. And no direction as to what to do next to keep from complete failure.
Roger
Email 3
(I had written back and this is his response to some of my comments)
>>find your way back to positive thinking and believing that you CAN make it.
This part I do struggle with the most as some days are worse than others, "the ball just doesn't seem to bounce my way", the momentum is negativity.
>>...short term money...
This is most difficult, I need at least $2,200 per month, that was my old income, which dropped to zero when my job was consolidated. I have several apps out but no calls for interviews yet. Then there is child care expenses to consider which will take some of the income. I am trying to open a new Karate Studio in a nearby town (which has a small community college) They asked me to teach at the college 2 nights a week which will bring in $250 / month. I am hoping that the Karate school will do well enough to make ends meet, but it is a very fickle thing. Sometimes you get students sometimes you don't. and Creditors are not a patient sort.
>>...You have probably thought of these things yourself...
Yes to one degree or another. I have many great ideas, so many that have yet to pan out. My family and friends scoff a bit and dismiss me. I suppose they thought it would be easy and when things I set out to do did not happen they have naturally lost faith in my ability and dreams. But I still struggle to maintain faith. I struggle to stay optimistic every day.
Thank you for your kind compassion; I guess I am not relying on you to give me a magic potient. I just needed to hear from someone real. I need to verify my belief that this struggle and hard work will not end up as just another failure. It's not the search for money that drives me. of course I want enough to take care of things and more... but what I really envision is my contribution and talent making a real difference to those in need. That would be my real success.
Roger
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