Parenthood Success

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Jaqie Feldstein, Daniel Russell, and Larry in “A Christmas Story”

When Things Go Right (Dec 2005)

As a parent, there is no greater joy then when your child succeeds. I think I get more joy out of Daniel’s successes now then I did out of my own childhood triumphs. It just feels so great!

My son is 12 and ever since I can remember, he has been drawn to the stage. I remember when he was just two years old, he insisted on waiting in a long line at the children’s festival at wolf trap just so he could have a video made of himself.

He has been involved with theater since we moved to the Shenandoah Valley a couple of years ago. I love to see him so motivated to succeed. In school he does quite well without a lot of effort so it is nice to see him involved in something that is a little more challenging for him.

This year he got the lead in Jean Shepard’s “A Christmas Story” at Wayside Theater in Middletown, VA. It is such a wonderful play and he is doing so well in it. They have broken attendance records and even added extra shows to try to accommodate the huge demand for tickets. The success and joy of doing the show makes all the trouble and inconvenience worth it.

And there is trouble and inconvenience. Wayside Theater is 30 minutes from our house. It is a professional theater so while they try to be considerate of children, it is still a very demanding rehearsal and performance schedule. Daniel has had late rehearsals on school nights and had to miss days of school to perform in matinees too. For that reason, they double cast the play so each double is understudy to the other.

Anyway, there is usually a point when I am nagging Daniel about homework, or trying to drag him out of bed to make the bus or just looking at his exhausted profile at breakfast when I think,. “What am I doing? Why do I let him do this?”. My life is hectic and stressful enough without the driving, driving, driving and waiting. But when I am sitting in that audience and I hear the laughter and the applause and when I see that look of triumph on his face, I know it is worth it and I know I will let him do it again.

I have an online scrapbook for Daniel at www.danielrussellactor.com.

How Do I Get My Child to Read?

Parents, Children, TV and the Porch

Dealing with a Bully? - (This is a download-able e-book, Click Here!to find out more)

How Do I Get My Child to Read?
- by Jeanne Russell
(c) Jeanne Russell - All Rights reserved =====================================

How Do I Get My Child to Read?

Well first off, please to don’t institute the ½ hour of mandatory reading that so many schools and parents are so keen on these days. You want to encourage a life-long love of reading and frankly you would be much more likely to succeed by banning reading in your house then by turning reading into yet another chore that needs to be done.

Secondly, you want to make sure that your child doesn’t have some learning disability that makes reading hard and uncomfortable. Even a child who makes good grades can have some undetected condition that makes reading difficult. Check with your child’s teacher and/or have him tested if necessary. If there is a learning disability present, experts can help your child with strategies that will make reading easier and more enjoyable.

The best time to instill a love of reading in your child is before they can read. Read to them at bed time. Please don’t play a bedtime video. If you are too busy to read to your child then you can play a book on tape. Just make sure that reading is part of a bedtime ritual that is comfortable and pleasant.

The number one way to instill a love of reading in your child is to be an avid reader yourself. When your little girl comes to you wanting to play Barbies, you can say “One moment sweetie, I want to finish this chapter”. You will be showing her by example that reading is even more fun than Barbies! If you hate to read then have yourself tested for a disability. Again you will be demonstrating how important reading is. Also think about instituting a “quiet” time during the day when you read and must not be disturbed. It would be a perfect time for them to read as well. Talk about books while eating dinner.

You also need to make sure that there are plenty of books in the house. The library is great but you must also own books. They need to be available. Having no money is no excuse. There are plenty of used bookstores and flea markets with cheap books for sale. Libraries often sell books and sometimes even give them away. When I started an on-line used book store, I was immediately inundated with truckloads of books from friends who needed to clear out. Just let people know you want books and they will start to appear. Believe me! Make sure there is a wide variety of subjects and titles. You never know what will spark your child’s interest.

Respect your books and encourage you children to respect them too. Get them a special book mark. Teach them to take care of their books.

Let’s say you didn’t read to your child as a baby and now he only reads when the school makes them and they hate it! Cancel the cable and get the electronic games out of the house. You may think it is a drastic move but it is necessary. (Don’t link this change to reading in any way.) You can always bring the TV and electronics back once the habit of reading has been established.

You must be willing to make sacrifices necessary to help your child be a success in life. Studies show that the kids who read are the ones who end up finding success. I cannot imagine my life without my books. It would be so drab.

Some children are so active that they have trouble sitting still long enough to read a book. If you have one of these children, ask yourself the following questions: Are you letting your child have a lot of sugar and caffeine? Do they get enough sleep? Be honest! These issues are all linked together and could be contributing to the problem. Again add reading to the bedtime ritual. If you don’t have one, make one. Active children particularly need as transition to help them sleep. Start by reading to your child and then let you child read to them-selves. You can even read to an older child or take turns reading to each other.

Finally let your child pick the books. You can find books on subjects that interest them and give them as gifts. Or you can take the recommendations of the child editors of
www.kidsrecommendbooks.com.

The bottom line is that you must create an atmosphere that encourages reading without pushing it on your child.

I hope this article is helpful. I welcome comments and suggestions. When commenting, please indicate your willingness to have your entry published on this site. jeanne@jeannerussell.com

-- Jeanne Russell is a mother, writer, and entrepreneur. She is founder of www.jeannerussell.com (a website devoted to self-improvement and success) and also www.stressandthesinglemom.com

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Parents, Children, TV and the Porch

I have a big front porch. My house sits on the main street of a small town in the Shenandoah Valley and I really think that the front porch is one of the main reasons I bought the house.

I remembered lazy summer evenings on my grandparents’ porch in Charlottesville, VA. People would stop by and there would be a game of scrabble or bridge going. We kids would catch fireflies and listen to the stories told by my grandmother.

I wanted that kind of summer for my son. As a child, when I wasn’t visiting my grandparents we lived in Arlington, VA. Then the back porch was the hang out. All the neighborhood kids would gather there and play Risk. These were serious games that sometimes took all day. It was summer.

Well things are different now. Our children have much more enriching activities then we had. They have “gifted” camps and “play dates.” They have Play Station II, and Game Cube. But still I want my son to get a taste of what I had.

Anyway, this summer we (I) decided on an experiment. I canceled the cable (which in my small town is like throwing the TV out the window). I told my son I wanted to cut back on expenses and I also canceled the electronics. (My excuse was the fact that my son decided not to do any homework the last three weeks of school.) I gave him a way to get the electronics back but it was hard.

Anyway, this summer he is 12 and for part of the summer he attended a drama camp from 9 am-noon a block from our house. I had to be on-sight at a client’s office several days a week. So he and a few friends got to have a little taste of summers past. After camp, they hung out or walked to the pool or library.

It has been great. Until he went to visit his dad in Arkansas, we often ate dinner on the porch and sometimes played scrabble or 10,000 (a dice game). People seldom just drop by but we have invited company for dinner or game night and occasionally have had visitors from out of town.

It is not like the old days. My son has earned his electronic back by writing a play and his dad does have cable. But I am wondering would it be cruel to make this house an Electronic/TV- Free zone. It has been so peaceful and we have had such good conversations. We have both been more productive too. (Daniel wrote a play and I am writing a book.)

I don’t know. We live in the world of today but.... I don’t know.